I Invented Pod Racing

There are two ways I could begin this story, both of which sound sarcastic enough to work.

1) Nostalgic version: In 1999, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (as it is fully known) was released in theaters, to the frenzied anticipation of me and my peers. When I first watched it in fifth grade, I thought it was the manifestation of the concept of "awesome" itself.* Now that I'm not stupid, I've come to realize that Episode I was much less than what I had thought. BUT, there was one element of Episode I that I actually appreciated: pod racing.

2) Actual version: Last night, a few of my friends and I, over more than a few beers, decided to watch Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Actually, we watched The Phantom Edit. Basically, for the next hour-and-a-half we discussed the movie's many (many) faults. There were only two things in the film that silenced our cynical rantings. They were (a) Darth Maul and (b) pod racing.

(The following will for sure be the rest of my story)

Maybe I liked it so much because I invented it.

I know, that sounds crazy. I understand why you might think something like, "Justin, you're crazy. How could you invent a plot device in a highly-anticipated, multi-million dollar blockbuster when you were only a ten or eleven years old?" My answer is simple: Lego.** Perhaps pictures can best explain the breakthough I made in 3rd grade, while playing with my Legos that fateful night, that was responsible for the wildly-popular pod racing.

Take THIS***

And instead of horses, take the rockets from THIS**** (click on it for a bigger image)


And you get THIS


And there you have it. A pod racer. Unfortunately, I don't think there's any way I can prove to Lucas, or a court of law for that matter, that I invented pod racing. As with every other Lego I ever built, I promptly destroyed it in order to salvage it for parts.

* The notion eventually faded, as I gained more perspective (i.e. "taste") over the years. By eighth grade, I accepted unquestionably that Episode I was a bad movie. BUT, when Episode II came out, it was fantastic. Repeat for Episode III.
** The proper term is "Lego," with no "s." There are no such things as "Legos" because "Lego" is just the concept of building a structure with those recognizable, differently colored, stackable bricks. To refer to the toys themselves, you should use the term "Lego bricks." The more you know.
*** Model number 6044, the King's Carriage.
**** Model 6982, the Explorien Starship. This thing was the shit. No matter what outlandish spaceships and futuristic death-weapons we would build, it was always assumed between my brother and I that nothing in our imaginary stories, acted out in Lego, could stop this, my adored starship.