A Visitor's Guide to Amsterdam

This is taken from a message I sent to a friend who will be visiting Amsterdam for a week. Basically, she just wanted to know about all the happenin' places. Check it:

There are a few museums you can check out, including the Van Gogh museum (duh), the Photography Museum (or FOAM as its called) which always has really cool exhibits, and the modern art museum (I can't remember what's it's called because I never went there since it was under renovations, but apparently it's really cool and has a Lichtenstein exhibit right now).

Food-wise, the Dutch leave much to be desired. But there are a few diamonds in the rough. You NEED to eat Indonesian food while you're there (colonialism yay). You can obviously find it at little snack shops but if you want something nicer/sit-down go to Cafe Kadijk (really cool decorations too) or Kantjil Tijger (pricier but really bomb food). There's also an awesome Italian restaurant called Vapiano which is located in the Central Public Library (pretty close to the train station) which is amazing. The library itself deserves a visit just because it's beautiful and looks like an Apple store for books. If you want really good breakfast (like, American style if that's what you've been missing, I know I was) go to Barney's Uptown. Barney's Uptown is like the sister-bar of Barney's, a really popular coffeeshop. If you do want to partake in authentic Dutch cuisine, get some pancakes at Pancakes Upstairs (it's this tiny restaurant upstairs in an old Dutch house, it's really cool)

My favorite places to go around town were Spui (also, the pricier Indonesian restaurant has a cheap take-out spot there), Newmarkt (touristy but with lots of cute cafes and coffeeshops), there's a cool market most days at Waterlooplein (near the Rembrandt museum too), Harlemerstraat (where you can find Barney's), and the Jordaan (a really bohemian area).

For bars, I suggest the student bars Skek and the Kriterion, and the squatter bar De Dos (I think I'm spelling that right). For coffeeshops, Kadinsky (in Spui) is really classy, Hill Street Blues (in Newmarkt) is nice because they have good milkshakes, and Blue Bird. Dampkring is the most famous (apparently it was in Ocean's Twelve) but I never wound up going there because it's pretty expensive.

Obviously see the Red Light district. But don't buy any food/drink/whatever there because it's hella expensive.

I would definitely recommend that you rent a bike, if you'll be there for a few days.

PS - "Thank you" = Dankuwel (donk-queue-vell) or just Danku, "Please" = Alstubleift (al-stew-bleeft), hello = hello, the letter "g" is all phlegmy, and the letter combination "ij" sounds like a long 'I' or a 'y' noise ('tijger' sounds like tiger). That's all you really need to know. If they sense that you don't speak Dutch fluently, they'll just switch to English, which can definitely be annoying when you're trying to learn the language.

Queen's Day and the World's Biggest Party

"or, Why Ditto Is the Best Pokémon"

On Thursday, April 30th, the population of Amsterdam more than doubled as thousands of orange-clad locals and tourists flocked the streets take part in what city officials have coined "the biggest party in the world." This party is Queen's Day.

Queen's Day, or Koninginnedag, was started on August 31st, 1885 as a celebration of Princess Wilhelmina's birthday. From 1949 onwards, after Queen Juliana took over, Queen's Day is celebrated on her birthday, the 30th of April. You might be asking yourself, "Wait a second. Beatrix has been the queen of the Netherlands since 1980,* why don't we celebrate Queen's Day on her birthday, which everyone knows is the 31st of January?" (Even if you didn't ask yourself that, which is probably the case, humor me). Simple, because January 31st is too damn cold to have a party like this:

(Thanks Scott Huber, for the photo. Check out his flickr for more Queen's Day photos)

So, what exactly is there to do on Queen's Day? Let's just take a look at my day for a good representation of a Koninginnedag.

1. Wake up.
2. Go to Giulia's room and have a delicious (and nutritious?) breakfast of toasted croissants and gin-and-Fanta-cocktail. Oh so classy.
3. Start walking over to the other side of the city. Be sure to bring the twenty-four Heinekken bottles you and your friends bought on sale for 8 euro. You'll need them.
4. Stop at the hundreds of vendors set up in the streets. Queen's Day is the only day you're allowed to have a yard sale in Amsterdam, and everyone takes advantage of it. Don't worry, there will be plenty of useless stuff to not buy. I saw one woman selling her newborn baby.**
5. Don't step on any broken glass.***
6. Carefully avoid looking at the nether-regions of the drunks using the portable urinals set of on the sidewalk.****
7. Take a break by a canal, and wave at the inebriated party-goers crammed on to the boats.
8. Try to block out the house music that every boat is blasting from giant speakers that somehow, miraculously are fitting in the boat and not falling overboard (damn).
9. Continue walking.
10. Reach Prinsengracht, the richest of the canals as well as the home of some of my friends from the program.
11. Pull up a chair.
12. Start drinking beer.
13. Buy a Vietnamese pasty from a Vietnamese vendor and buy a Belgian waffel from his Dutch neighbor.
14. Continue drinking beer.
15. (something?)
16. Somehow end up walking home.
17. Eat potato chips for dinner. Mmm Kettle Chips.

Admittedly, my day ended early. By seven that night I was sober, and the rest of the city had started to pack it up. That night though, a few of my friends and I visited our friend Arjay from another (and dare I say our rival) program at his magnificent dorm. It was a perfect night and we hung out on top of his building with a few of his friends. While talking, I came up with what I think are a few inspired theories.

First, the reason Queen's Day is so crazy is that it's the only day Amsterdam actually parties. Basically, I argued, Amsterdam is not a party city, but the rest of the world thinks it is and the locals think it should be. So once a year they try to live up to expectations and wind up overcompensating. Obviously, this theory had its critics. Someone incredulously asked me, "How can Amsterdam not be a party city? If you ask anyone in the U.S. to list the biggest party cities in Europe, Amsterdam would be at the top of the list." This, as I quickly responded, was wrong. And yes, I have some evidence to back this up: Nothing's open after eight at night. Only bars, coffeeshops, and a few clubs. I know this might seem a little contradictory, but hear me out. In a real party city, like Barcelona, everything is open until four in the morning. Partiers are in the streets until the wee hours. In Amsterdam, even the most tourist-heavy areas, like Dam Square and the Red Light District, are relatively quiet during the night. In a party city, everyone is taking advantage of the night life, not just the tourists who aren't yet too stoned to move.

Or maybe Amsterdam is a party city, and Queen's Day is so huge it carries over until the next year.

Second, after the topic of discussion somewhere landed on Pokémon, I realized Ditto was probably the most underrated Pokémon.

Now, let me preface this by saying that I was a Pokemon Master. I indeed "Caught 'em all." All 151. In fifth grade. So I can say the following with some measure of authority.

For the uninitiated, this is Ditto:

This unremarkable little blob is number 132 in the Pokédex. Basically, when you release him into battle, his only "attack" is to transform in to whatever Pokémon he's fighting against. I always thought he was stupid and gimmicky. But lo-and-behold, that night on Arjay's roof I realized his potential. For example, say you're fighting an Alakazam (number 65), a psychic-type Pokémon. Now, everyone knows that psychic Pokémon are weak against other psychic Pokémon. So, just put Ditto into battle, and as long as he's a higher level, he'll have no problem making quick work of that yellow bastard. Or, say, your enemy has two Pokémon left: a water-type, like Blastoise (number 9), and a fire-type, like Charizard (number 6). If you play your cards right (especially if they're from the Pokémon Trading Card Game, which I also rocked), you can make Ditto copy Blastoise, kill Blastoise with another Pokémon, and then use the water-type Ditto to kill Charizard. Simple, right?

That's enough.

* Not-so-coincidentally, she ascended to the throne on Queen's Day that year.
** Just kidding, this didn't happen.
*** Also kidding. This is impossible.
**** This too. They always stand too far away...

For Your Listening Pleasure

Here are a few songs that I've regularly been jonesin' for during my stay here in Amsterdam.

"Black Mirror" by Arcade Fire – In the last two months, Arcade Fire has become one of my favorite bands. "Black Mirror" blew me away the first time I listened to Neon Bible, their most recent album (which itself is phenomenal).

"Mathematics" by Mos Def – This is one of those songs that you hear and love, only to realize you've had it in your collection (read: iTunes library) for years. Pandora actually reintroduced me to this song and I've been obsessed with it since. There's no official video, so this one will have to do. It's a quirky little montage clip.

"Lucky" by Radiohead – Another older one. I never really paid attention to this song, one of the last on OK Computer, before I heard it used in an episode of Six Feet Under. This video's kind of a downer (and Thom Yorke looks weirder than usual in it). So here's the clip from the show. Even though it's in Spanish, I'm sure you can figure it out.

I'm still wading through the giant selection of CDs that the Amsterdam public library has. I'm due for another trip soon. I'm thinking Clipse and maybe some Bob Dylan (after seeing Watchmen on opening night).

Catching Up

So, it's been a while. I guess you could say that I've had a serious case of writer's block. That, and my blog has been in blog-limbo for at least a month. I abandoned my old Wordpress blog (addictedtotheshindig.wordpress.com) and got a blogger account for a few reasons. I never really liked any of the Wordpress themes. Considering that I've never gotten around to learning enough html to do anything (that is, beyond making text bold or underlined), I decided to go with the host that makes it easier for me to have the appearance that I want (that is, a white background and a header). I'll be tinkering with it for a while, but for now my project is to create a big beautiful header up top.

ANYWAYS (courtesy Chuck Klosterman) here's a truncated recount of what I've been up to for the last month or so. I have:

1. Been to Belgium. Brussels and Bruges, to be precise. Our bus left from the south of Amsterdam at around 8 on a Saturday morning and arrived in Brussels around noon. We then took a train to Bruges where we spent the rest of the day walking around, eating chocolate, buying waffels, and drinking Belgian beer. The weather was overcast, and there weren't that many people out. That night we tried to find a place to eat for under 15 Euro, and let me tell you, it's impossible. Unless, of course, you eat at Quick, the premiere French fast-food establish, like we did (Belgium, being between France and the Netherlands, is equally influenced by both). Overall, I wasn't too impressed by Bruges. Other than our hostel, the Bauhaus Inn, which had a lively bar as well as a DJ that played some much-needed American pop music, the city didn't have much going for it. I guess I'm supposed to see the movie In Bruges in order to get the full experience. It's still on my to-do list.* Brussels, on the other hand, was awesome. The weather was perfect, people were walking around the city, and the buildings were covered with enough graffiti to keep my camera working all afternoon. To top off the nearly-perfect day, we ate some pretty cheap Thai food. I missed my spicy chicken Pad Thai.
   Check out Sara and Alex's posts about Belgium as well.
   
2. Started a new blog. After seeing a Mercedes McLaren parked in front of a swanky hotel in Belgium, we lamented about how we wished there was a blog for automobile aesthetics, a Sartorialist for Cars, if you will. We call it The Cartorialist.
3. Written two-and-a-half papers, given three presentations, and taken two midterms.**
4. Been trying to figure out my life for the summer. The Affordable Housing Internship through UEP didn't work out, so now I'm scouring the web for a paying internship. Normally I wouldn't be picky, but with a) the economy and b) the way Amsterdam is pillaging my bank account Viking-style, I need some cash flow come summer-time. Some of the LACAC internships look interesting, especially the one with the Eagle Rock Center for the Arts, in which I'd be helping to plan the Eagle Rock Music Festival.
5. Had my dad and my brother come visit me, seperately. It's surprisingly difficult to come up with stuff to do for a week at a time. With one or the other, I went to the Heineken Experience (I was brewed!), the Van Gogh Museum, the Rijkmuseum, a cool little comic book shop near the edge of the City Center, and the Red Light District (kind of a requirement for tourists). I know I'm forgetting a few places.
6. Saw Girl Talk. That was a wacky night.
7. Started reading A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by Dave Eggers. I'm in to it.
8. Finished Six Feet Under.
9. Been the recipient of a citation by the Amsterdam Police. I was biking on a road between Keizergracht and Herengracht, where apparently, you're only allowed to travel by foot (unless you're a tram, then you can freely barrel through that section of street). Here's how the story goes: Alex, Sara, and I actually start out by walking down the block. After the tram passes by, Mr. Manthei decides to get on his bike, defiantly proclaim "Fuck walking," and proceeds to pedal down the street. Sara and I follow suit. A few seconds later, at the end of the block, I see Alex is pulled over by a cop, and a few feet behind him, so is Sara. Now, at this point, I think that the two cops have pulled them over for a routine identity inspection.*** As soon as I see this, I get off my bike, and walk it over to Sara, thinking that it's no big deal. The male cop walks away from Alex, towards Sara and I, and Alex walks off around a corner. Both cops, male and female, start talking to us about how they are going to give us tickets for 35 Euro each, for not walking. The male cop starts talking to me.
   Cop: Do you live here?
   Me: Yes? [sic] I'm a student and I'm staying here until June.
   Cop: Why are you riding your bike here?
   Me: I didn't see the sign.
   Now, in my defense, the sign technically said that the street was pedestrian-friendly, not that bikes were prohibited. There is definitely a sign for this, but it certainly wasn't posted. If I had been smart enough, I would have told him this.
   Cop: Do you have identification?
   I pull out my University of Amsterdam ID, which we have been told will work in situations like these.
   Cop: I'm sorry, but do you have your passport?
   Me: No.
   For obvious reasons, I don't carry my passport with me. If I was smart I would have told him this as well.
   Me: I have an American driver's license. Will that work?
   It does. I give it to him and he starts taking down my information. Here's where the culture gap starts to show.
   Cop: Your birthday is 11-05-1987?
   He, of course, means May 11th, 1987, because that's how the rest of the world writes dates. My birthday is, of course, November 5th, 1987, because that's how America rolls. I tell him this.
   Cop: Why is your birthday wrong on your identification?
   Me: We write it backwords in the U.S. We're weird.
   The cop and I chuckle about how weird the U.S. is.
   Cop: What's your address here?
   Me: Prins Hendrikkade A-12.
   I, of course, mean A-12 because that's how we pronounce the letter "A" in English. He, of course, thinks I said "E-12" because when he insists on speaking English (not my idea, to my credit), he doesn't think about how the Dutch pronounce the letter "E" as an "A" when they sing the alphabet. So, I'm pretty sure he wrote down my wrong information. Which means I may or may not be recieving a citation in the mail in six to eight weeks. After this whole ordeal, we meet up with Alex, who didn't get a ticket. How, you ask (like I did). "I just told him I was a tourist." If I had been smart enough, I would have told him this too.

The sun's starting to come out, and I'm ecstatic to say that I can bike around the city without four layers on.

* I don't have a to-do list.
** The papers were on "the role of the gaze in gendering public spaces in Cairo," the usefulness of the "modernizing paradigm" – the idea that the city is the site of the new and the rural is the site of tradition – in analyzing the urban experience, and some 500-word thing on some health program in Thailand. The first two are for my ballin' Urban Anthropology class. The last one is for my Health and Development class. I hate that class.
*** The Dutch don't like foreigners (read: ethnic immigrants), so cops are known to "randomly" check identification in the street. I've never actually seen this happen. I thought I did, though.