Queen's Day and the World's Biggest Party

"or, Why Ditto Is the Best Pokémon"

On Thursday, April 30th, the population of Amsterdam more than doubled as thousands of orange-clad locals and tourists flocked the streets take part in what city officials have coined "the biggest party in the world." This party is Queen's Day.

Queen's Day, or Koninginnedag, was started on August 31st, 1885 as a celebration of Princess Wilhelmina's birthday. From 1949 onwards, after Queen Juliana took over, Queen's Day is celebrated on her birthday, the 30th of April. You might be asking yourself, "Wait a second. Beatrix has been the queen of the Netherlands since 1980,* why don't we celebrate Queen's Day on her birthday, which everyone knows is the 31st of January?" (Even if you didn't ask yourself that, which is probably the case, humor me). Simple, because January 31st is too damn cold to have a party like this:

(Thanks Scott Huber, for the photo. Check out his flickr for more Queen's Day photos)

So, what exactly is there to do on Queen's Day? Let's just take a look at my day for a good representation of a Koninginnedag.

1. Wake up.
2. Go to Giulia's room and have a delicious (and nutritious?) breakfast of toasted croissants and gin-and-Fanta-cocktail. Oh so classy.
3. Start walking over to the other side of the city. Be sure to bring the twenty-four Heinekken bottles you and your friends bought on sale for 8 euro. You'll need them.
4. Stop at the hundreds of vendors set up in the streets. Queen's Day is the only day you're allowed to have a yard sale in Amsterdam, and everyone takes advantage of it. Don't worry, there will be plenty of useless stuff to not buy. I saw one woman selling her newborn baby.**
5. Don't step on any broken glass.***
6. Carefully avoid looking at the nether-regions of the drunks using the portable urinals set of on the sidewalk.****
7. Take a break by a canal, and wave at the inebriated party-goers crammed on to the boats.
8. Try to block out the house music that every boat is blasting from giant speakers that somehow, miraculously are fitting in the boat and not falling overboard (damn).
9. Continue walking.
10. Reach Prinsengracht, the richest of the canals as well as the home of some of my friends from the program.
11. Pull up a chair.
12. Start drinking beer.
13. Buy a Vietnamese pasty from a Vietnamese vendor and buy a Belgian waffel from his Dutch neighbor.
14. Continue drinking beer.
15. (something?)
16. Somehow end up walking home.
17. Eat potato chips for dinner. Mmm Kettle Chips.

Admittedly, my day ended early. By seven that night I was sober, and the rest of the city had started to pack it up. That night though, a few of my friends and I visited our friend Arjay from another (and dare I say our rival) program at his magnificent dorm. It was a perfect night and we hung out on top of his building with a few of his friends. While talking, I came up with what I think are a few inspired theories.

First, the reason Queen's Day is so crazy is that it's the only day Amsterdam actually parties. Basically, I argued, Amsterdam is not a party city, but the rest of the world thinks it is and the locals think it should be. So once a year they try to live up to expectations and wind up overcompensating. Obviously, this theory had its critics. Someone incredulously asked me, "How can Amsterdam not be a party city? If you ask anyone in the U.S. to list the biggest party cities in Europe, Amsterdam would be at the top of the list." This, as I quickly responded, was wrong. And yes, I have some evidence to back this up: Nothing's open after eight at night. Only bars, coffeeshops, and a few clubs. I know this might seem a little contradictory, but hear me out. In a real party city, like Barcelona, everything is open until four in the morning. Partiers are in the streets until the wee hours. In Amsterdam, even the most tourist-heavy areas, like Dam Square and the Red Light District, are relatively quiet during the night. In a party city, everyone is taking advantage of the night life, not just the tourists who aren't yet too stoned to move.

Or maybe Amsterdam is a party city, and Queen's Day is so huge it carries over until the next year.

Second, after the topic of discussion somewhere landed on Pokémon, I realized Ditto was probably the most underrated Pokémon.

Now, let me preface this by saying that I was a Pokemon Master. I indeed "Caught 'em all." All 151. In fifth grade. So I can say the following with some measure of authority.

For the uninitiated, this is Ditto:

This unremarkable little blob is number 132 in the Pokédex. Basically, when you release him into battle, his only "attack" is to transform in to whatever Pokémon he's fighting against. I always thought he was stupid and gimmicky. But lo-and-behold, that night on Arjay's roof I realized his potential. For example, say you're fighting an Alakazam (number 65), a psychic-type Pokémon. Now, everyone knows that psychic Pokémon are weak against other psychic Pokémon. So, just put Ditto into battle, and as long as he's a higher level, he'll have no problem making quick work of that yellow bastard. Or, say, your enemy has two Pokémon left: a water-type, like Blastoise (number 9), and a fire-type, like Charizard (number 6). If you play your cards right (especially if they're from the Pokémon Trading Card Game, which I also rocked), you can make Ditto copy Blastoise, kill Blastoise with another Pokémon, and then use the water-type Ditto to kill Charizard. Simple, right?

That's enough.

* Not-so-coincidentally, she ascended to the throne on Queen's Day that year.
** Just kidding, this didn't happen.
*** Also kidding. This is impossible.
**** This too. They always stand too far away...